Christmas cheer

Korans roasting on an open fire.....
Jazzed cops nabbing pedo priests.....
You'll find gays being wed as they desire.....
And folks defiling eucharists.....

What a year it's been! But as December begins, one's thoughts turn to Christmas shopping. Some people aren't so easy to buy for, but I've thought of a few appropriate gifts.....

For Rich Iott: a catalog of Halloween costumes, clown suits, and ComicCon outfits, because anything, absolutely anything, would be an improvement.

For Christine O'Donnell: a vibrator with plausible deniability.

For Pastor Terry Jones: a Koran printed on flame-proof paper, in the hope that he'll realize the best way to attack Islam is to make people read the damn thing, not burn it.

For Joe Miller; a heavy-duty electric razor, so he can finally stop looking like he spent last night in a dumpster.

For Sarah Palin: a detailed map of East Korea, so she can work on planning the first war she'll start if she ever becomes President. Also a note-pad, so she doesn't need to go back to the writing-on-the-hand thing.

For Richard Dawkins: another year of his ideal arch-enemy.

For the racists of the world: a lesson from the salamanders.

For the altar boys of the world: spray-on relief.

For Senate Democrats: a spine apiece.

For the Hollywood movie industry: the collected works of Larry Niven, Brian Lumley, William Barton, and Richard Matheson, in the hopes of inspiring some decent science-fiction and fantasy movies (and a round of floggings for what they've already done to I Am Legend).

For the office HOPA: Jenny's chutzpah.

For the Pope: Tim Minchin on an endless loop, so he can finally get it through his skull how he and his look to the rest of the world.

For the Tea Party movement: all the Thunderbird they can drink, in the hopes that they'll adopt it as their new symbol and cease to sully own my favorite beverage by associating themselves with it. (Calling them thunderbirds instead of teabaggers would actually fit well -- it would evoke the marionettes from the old kids' TV show, who acted like mighty warriors but were actually cheap puppets manipulated by barely-hidden string-pullers.)

And finally, for all of those liberals who react to every defeat by proclaiming the end of all hope, the death of democracy, the final triumph of fascism, etc.: this posting.