Improving words (2)

Back in December, I suggested (inspired by this) that our language would be much better if words simply meant what they appear to mean, and modestly proposed a few re-definitions to improve things.  Since then, a few more have occurred to me:

Bipolar:  Attracted to polar bears of both genders

Bishop:  A store for bisexuals

Cistern:  A non-transsexual bird

Console:  To swindle a specific type of fish

Contest:  The final exam at scammer school

Contraband:  A Nicaraguan rebel music group from the eighties

Contract:  A scam religious booklet

Current:  Lease payments on a nasty dog

Debunk:  To throw someone out of bed

Delay:  To stuff an egg back into the chicken

Design:  To remove an indication (SK)

Dim Sum:  Calculator batteries running low

Drag race:  An entire race of men who wear women's clothing

Exuberant:  A small insect which formerly provided transport

Fasten:  To speed something up

Grimace:  A bleak playing card (SK)

Hosting:  A police operation to entrap prostitutes

Increment:  The opposite of excrement

Madagascar:  A rage-fueled automobile

Pillage:  The medication era (SK)

Polygon:  You can't find your parrot

Protestant:  A small insect who objects to things

Relay:  What a chicken will do after you delay its egg

Spartan:  A sunburn suitable for a boxing match

Template:  That short-term employee is never on time

Thorax:  I thought he carried a hammer

Vanish:  Resembling a box-like vehicle (SK)

Oh, and is it any wonder that Thailand gets so many sex tourists when the country's name looks like it should be pronounced "Thigh-land", the capital is Bangkok, the main tourist island is called Phuket, and so many women's names end in "-porn"?

(Items marked SK were suggested by Shaw Kenawe in a comment on the original post.)