Video of the day -- the Rapture re-scheduled

Rejoice -- for our fun is not over yet!  All those fruitloops who were freaking out because they weren't hoovered up into the sky last week to dwell with God have now found a satisfactory explanation for the dud prophecy.  Due to some kind of mix-up between the Gregorian and Julian calendars, the original date was thirteen days off, and the real Rapture will take place next Tuesday!  Glad that's been straightened out.  All those people who gave away their cars and burned all their money weren't wrong, just a couple of weeks early.  So now there's a brand-new countdown to another massive disappointment.

As you'll see, some of them believe they're getting messages from God via car license plate numbers or something written on a coffee cup.  That's the level of mental acuity we're looking at here.  Come on, you're talking about the alleged all-powerful creator of the universe.  If he wanted to send us a message, I'd expect thousand-mile-high flaming Hebrew lettering along the orbit of the Moon or something like that, not a time written on a coffee cup that happens to look like a Bible reference.  For that matter, this entire recent round of Rapturetardia was kicked off by some nutball in South Africa who has a podcast, who announced that God told him about it in a dream.

Oh, and some of these same goofs are also saying that the UK is "paving the way for the Antichrist" because some online Bible apps over there went down for a few hours.  Also, in case you were wondering, that "CPS" which is mentioned several times is Child Protective Services, an agency in the UK which investigates situations where children may be endangered.  You can see why they'd be concerned about some of these cases.

How fitting that this year's International Blasphemy Day was bracketed by two such fruitful occasions for mockery.  It's a sign, I'm telling you!  Satan be praised!