17 October 2011

Republican candidates: my assessment

Rick Perry: The candidate for people who think George W. Bush was too intellectual.

Ron Paul: The candidate for those who think the economy we have now is too egalitarian.

Rick Santorum: The candidate for people who think Fred Phelps is too tolerant.

Herman Cain: The candidate for those who think the rich pay too much tax, the poor pay too little, and the deficit isn't big enough.

Newt Gingrich: The candidate for people who think Ted Haggard wasn't hypocritical enough about morality.

Michele Bachmann: The candidate for those who think Rick Perry, Ron Paul, Rick Santorum, Herman Cain, and Newt Gingrich are too sane.

Mitt Romney: The candidate for conservatives who realize the Republican party has gone nuts but still want it to run the country.

Jon Huntsman: The candidate for.....uh.....are any of them even voting for this guy?


Blogger Ahab said...

:: chuckles ::

17 October, 2011 06:41  
Anonymous noodleepoodlee said...

What a excellent distillation!

17 October, 2011 07:08  
Blogger Leslie Parsley said...

Hahaha. Good one. It really is amazing that out of all those candidates, there's not one single person who is qualified to run a news stand, much less be president. Pathetic.

17 October, 2011 07:20  
Blogger Robert the Skeptic said...

Still, Obama has an uphill battle if the economy does not improve. And I don't believe it will in any significant way in the coming months... an not merely because the Republicans will sabotage any gains to fuel their purposes.

17 October, 2011 09:12  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do not envy you, my American friends.



17 October, 2011 21:21  
Anonymous noodleepoodlee said...

Crap ... that should have been "what AN excellent distillation."

Oh, well. Too much T(ea)P(arty) exposure I guess.

18 October, 2011 13:17  
Blogger Tommykey said...

The two Mormon candidates are the most qualified. But Huntsman doesn't have a chance of winning the nomination. As for Romney, if he was just running a technocratic "I can fix things" campaign, I might have conceivably voted for him if I was really upset with Obama. However, Romney's willingness to pander to far right social conservatives and his stated willingness to throw women's reproductive rights under the bus has pretty much ruled out any chance I could ever vote for him.

19 October, 2011 06:28  
Blogger JoĆ© McKen said...

I laughed. And then I wept.

Or felt like it, anyway.

25 October, 2011 23:08  

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