20 March 2010

Christianity, summarized

"The belief that a walking dead Jewish deity who was his own father although he always existed, commits suicide by cop, although he didn't really die, in order to give himself permission not to send you to an eternal place of torture that he created for you, but instead to make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically promise him you accept him as your master, so he can cleanse you of an evil force that is present in mankind because a rib-woman and a mud-man were convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree."

Found via The Atheist Camel, of unknown attribution (I know I've seen this or something like it several times before).


Blogger magpie said...

Yeah I've heard that before... or something like it.

Or at least the mud-man and rib-woman bit seems to be reoccurring.

Just a bit of Googling now found me this:

"When I was a child, I was told that a magic man in the sky temporarily murdered his own son so that he would be able to forgive me for being descended from a mud-man and a rib-woman who were told by a talking snake to eat a magic apple from a tree that the magic man had put in their garden and lied to them saying that it would kill them if they ate it, but all it did was to teach them right from wrong, so they had to be punished even though they didn't know it was wrong."

20 March, 2010 04:54  
Blogger Infidel753 said...

Magpie: Well, it is pretty silly. The amazing thing is how the missionaries who set out in the 19th century to spread that story all over the world used to cluck in disbelief at the absurd superstitions of primitive people.

20 March, 2010 10:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


28 June, 2011 08:16  

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