Words that don't exist, but should

There is an ever-expanding range of new things and concepts in the world, and in order to talk about them, we need to create words for them. English has usually done this either by using old words with new meanings (what would a Victorian have made of "using a mouse to surf the net", even though every word would have seemed familiar?), or by inventing new words in various ways (that same Victorian would not have recognized "laser" or "transhumanist" or even "homophobia"). Both practices continue today; many of us know that not every shipper deals with UPS and that not every cougar's bite need be feared, and recent coinages I like include "hamashole" (Hamas member) by blogger "Aussie Dave" of Israellycool, and "deathist" (opponent of life-extension technology), though I'm not sure who came up with that one.

It recently occurred to me that I have a lot of terms of my own which I find myself using in my own head, or in corresponding with people who know me well, that don't really exist (yet) but probably should. Here are a few:

celltard: a person gabbing annoyingly on a cell phone in public

cusstard: a person who enjoys or justifies swearing

foamer: a ranting, raving, foaming-at-the-mouth religious nut

fuzzbait: a car driving even faster than your own along the same road, which unwittingly protects you against being pulled over for speeding because it's that car and not your own that any patrol car in the area will go after

hoarsemen of the apocalypse: hysterical members of the media and punditocracy who endlessly bellow gloom and doom about the economy

idollator: a person whose main sexual partner is a sex doll or robot rather than an actual human

Obamatardosphere: that portion of the internet consisting of sites run or dominated by Obama cultists

patroll: the act of diligently policing one's blog to remove hostile or negative comments

PITA: an annoying person or situation (acronym of "pain in the [hindquarters]")

weavetard: a driver who constantly moves from lane to lane trying to overtake the rest of the traffic, usually gaining about two whole car lengths by the next stop sign