Personal note
Avoiding politics/election stuff on the internet as much as I can is helping somewhat. That stuff was getting to the point of making me feel physically nauseated.
I couldn't have stayed at that job much longer. Some of the people there were actually quite pleasant, notably the manager of the work unit I was in, but they had no control over the shouting, the people constantly interrupting and talking over each other, the rudeness and hostility of the one individual I had to interact with the most, and the various other stuff that made it feel like a madhouse sometimes. I also simply don't have the stamina I used to. Forty hours a week, month after month, is just too much. If I can get healthier over the next few weeks, maybe that will improve, but I hope that for the next job I can get something part-time.
On my second-to-last day, the manager took me out to lunch and we got to talking about personal things for the first time. It was only then that I discovered he's quite religious, though he didn't go into detail. When I left at the end of the work day on that final Friday, he walked out with me, thanked me again for all my work, and then said, "I want you to know I'll be praying for your new health regimen to succeed". I thanked him with a feeling of genuine appreciation. He was being supportive and encouraging, which I value however it's expressed. Should I have tried to keep in touch with him after the job ended? In my experience, co-workers are rarely open to that, and in the long run he and I would likely have discovered many profound disagreements in world-view. Nevertheless, if more Christians were like him, I wouldn't have so much of a problem with Christianity.
posted by Infidel753 at 12:26 AM
10 Comments:
"Should I have tried to keep in touch with him after the job ended?"
That is a very big question. I have temped a lot in the past and generally no you just don't. In a way it is bad because it is a large cause of the atomisation of society. The things that tie us together do include work but not when you're temping.
It's weird. I've been around the country a lot and now I've pretty much rooted myself in a small village (albeit just outside of Manchester) and I'm known. People say Hi to me on the street. I'm noted for frequently carrying a camera. I dunno how I feel about this. I think I quite like it but it is odd having general contacts rather than people I know online for very specific reasons. I mean on Quora I'm pretty much the go to guy for discussions on Tolkien's works and their connection with Catholicism. Yeah, that surprised me too.
But, I'm wittering. Maybe keep in touch with your old boss. I do think being taken out to lunch did move things on a bit beyond the usual very shallow temp relationship. For some reason I'm thinking of it as the start of a sort of middle-aged odd couple bromance rom-com and am wondering about the availability of Tom Hanks. Sorry.
Anyway, best of luck sorting things out with your health. Have you thought about doing something other than accountancy? I dunno much about your skills but I do know you have a talent for writing. We could try a screenplay! Sorry. Actually, I have a literary project in mind that I'd like to discuss with you. I know that sounds cryptic but until I nail down some facts and summon up the courage to speak to someone I haven't in 30 years then...
Anyway, I wish you all the best. I won't be praying for you. As a principled agnostic I have no idea who or what I'd pray to anyway. But kudos to your erstwhile boss because it sounds like he was showing he cared the way he could.
Oh, and elections. Just this. We have ours on July 4th and you have yours on Guy Fawkes Night. Is that blind luck or the actions of Loki?
I feel for you.
I am struggling with my own needs for lifestyle changes due to pending health issues. Overcoming old habits and patterns is difficult.
As for keeping in touch with your old boss/co-worker -- that's a call only the two of you can make. We come in contact with people that are only there for seasons or short times in our lives and then we both move on. I had a number of "friends" while working, but the truth is that the only real thing we had in common was work. When I retired that disappeared and we had no more connection. There are only a few people from that past that I keep in touch with now.
Having shed much of my evangelical past, I have also lost those decades long "friends" and that's probably a good thing.
I hope you get your health issues worked out in the time you've given yourself and find find something suitable for your next gig.
NickM: In general, at least in the US, it doesn't work. A job is just a job and as soon as you're no longer at the same company, whatever ties you've developed disappear. It's notoriously difficult in the US to develop close ties with people -- and yes, it does lead to atomization of society, which is part of why people are so susceptible to social media and recruitment by nutball conspiracy groups which offer some substitute for real social groups. That's part of why I'm increasingly suspicious of movements that undermine the traditional family. It's the one real thing we have left.
I have tried writing for money in various forms. Unfortunately the kind of writing people are willing to pay for and the kind I like to do don't seem to overlap much. The great thing about a blog is that there's no editor or publisher standing between me and the readers, telling me to change things. With most deals where you get paid, there's no avoiding that. And, of course, writing is a pretty solitary pursuit and not conducive to meeting new people.
I'd still be interested in hearing about your "literary project" once you have your ducks in a row.
John: Thanks. If you're trying the same kind of thing, you know how difficult it is. When your body has been doing the same things for forty years, it rebels against change.
With regard to your "friends" from the evangelical world, unfortunately relationships based on religious connections seem especially notorious for that -- people you thought you could trust based on shared beliefs turn their backs on you as soon as you leave those beliefs. Religious ideology is more real to them than flesh-and-blood people.
I really hope I can get something part-time for my next job. Most people don't want part-time because of benefits, but I'm on Obamacare so it's not an issue for me.
Best of luck on your lifestyle endeavours. Hopefully blogging helps because I would certainly
miss your contributions. Simply identifying problems and making those first steps help start the journey and it sounds like you're on your way. Fair winds and following seas'.
Thanks Infidel. I'll, er, get ducking!
It does appear to me that... US work culture is toxic. The only place I've heard like it is Japan. That's from my brother who worked there a lot. There seems to be people who really don't understand what "productivity" means. The UK Tory Party is one of them. One of their guys recently said NHS productivity could be boosted by nurses working longer hours! Yeah, I really want critical healthcare delivered by someone at the arse-end of a 65 hour week who no longer cares if they live or die let alone me!
Oddly enough, the most I came to enjoying temping, was working two jobs (total 36 hours p/w) because whilst quite different the shifts and locations beautifully fit. The difference in the roles - customer service/back-office - gave a bit of contrast. I seriously can't do 9/5 customer service without it ending badly...
I wish I could offer more than simple hope that your change works out for you.
In case my personal experience helps, I have found a friendly response from former co-workers as I send an occasional text every two or three weeks to keep in touch. If I'm ignored after the first two or three, I figure I'm imposing and focus on others instead.
The content is usually corny dad humor or a bit of personal news combined with asking of they're doing okay.
Changing habits, even for better health, is often difficult to do. I know. For sleep I take 50mg/night of Trazodone.
Dr. Greger has an amazing new book out "How Not to Age". It is very well researched and full of great information. I got it out of the library a few days ago and it has motivated my sisters and I to finally really clean up our diets and make life style changes to feel our best. We are on an 8 week no sugar, salt, oil, refined grains and processed foods whole food plant based diet. Anyway, it might be something to look into as I know you are interested in the science of aging.
I hope you are able to change whatever bad habits you are trying to change. I know doing so is not easy.
Seafury: Thanks. Blogging does help, but it's a problem sustaining the mental energy and coherence for it. Inadequate sleep is very bad for those things.
NickM: US work culture is toxic as hell. The oddity is that people here realize that about Japan and its miserable long hours and subsuming of the individual into corporate culture at the expense of family and other relationships, yet they don't realize that the US itself is like that compared to Europe. On another blog I recently saw a comment about the lower productivity per worker in Europe vs here, and responded that this just means the Europeans are smart enough to realize that merely maximizing the amount of stuff that can be churned out per person is not a measure of happiness or anything else worthwhile. Nurses' work time is something where we definitely don't want to sacrifice quality for quantity. But doctors in the US are notoriously overworked too.
Burr: Thanks, I appreciate the good wishes. I've never tried e-mailing ex-co-workers, except for the case of the Iranian guy I mentioned here. I doubt it would work out, though. Maybe the jobs you've worked are more conducive to those kinds of connections.
Ricko: I'll look into Trazodone.
Lady M: I'll look into that. I know Dr Greger really knows what he's talking about.
Mary K: Thanks for the encouragement. So far it's not easy, but I never expected it to be. And every relapse makes me feel like absolute shit, so there's an incentive there.
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