Personal note (2)
I just received the news that my father has died. He was just a few weeks short of 94 years old.
He was fairly healthy for his age (as far as I knew -- he was very private about personal things) until a couple of weeks ago, when a condition set in which led to rapid decline, and it soon became obvious that the end was near. This was the personal situation I mentioned in my note this morning. Nevertheless, this news comes as a shock. The doctors expected him to live about two months, and he had seemed to be improving this week.
Unlike with my mother who died five and a half years ago, he and I were not really close. He lived in a different state and I had not seen him for a long time, though since the onset of this new condition I did have plans to visit him. Still, this was my father, and he cared about me. I'm alone in the world now.
He was fairly healthy for his age (as far as I knew -- he was very private about personal things) until a couple of weeks ago, when a condition set in which led to rapid decline, and it soon became obvious that the end was near. This was the personal situation I mentioned in my note this morning. Nevertheless, this news comes as a shock. The doctors expected him to live about two months, and he had seemed to be improving this week.
Unlike with my mother who died five and a half years ago, he and I were not really close. He lived in a different state and I had not seen him for a long time, though since the onset of this new condition I did have plans to visit him. Still, this was my father, and he cared about me. I'm alone in the world now.
posted by Infidel753 at 4:03 PM
26 Comments:
I understand complex feelings about complex figures threading through complex lives. And complex endings. I'm thinking of you, my friend. Simply.
Well I am sorry to hear that. I became an orphan back in 2020. It is never easy. Has he left you in charge of his will? I went through that as executor for my Dad. It was a struggle. I still think about my parents a lot. I don't think I will ever stop missing them. I am wishing you some comfort and kindness in your current situation.
I am sorry for your loss.
Sorry to hear of your father's passing. Take any amount of time you need, to do whatever you need to do.
Oh Infidel, I am so sorry for your loss.
It's hard; regardless if you were close or not - there is still grief. The best advice I was ever given was to embrace the grief. To think of yourself swimming, afloat in an ocean. That the grief is an enormous wave coming at you. Let it wash over you - as it passes, you will come back to the surface on the other side. With time, as the next giant waves come along, you will learn to dive through them and get to the other side. Eventually, the waves will get smaller and smaller, until finally, you can see over them in your journey.
Peace to you.
Rade
Sorry about your father.
Words of comfort can seem trite at times, but choosing the right ones can sometimes help. Remember, we, your faithful followers are with you through this journey. You aren't alone. Hopefully you are able to say good bye to your Dad in a way that can give you closure and peace.
I'm so sorry for your father's passing. I know what it feels like and I still mourn my father as well. He was a wonderful man.
I'm so sorry to hear this Infidel and sorry that you missed out on that final visit. Such a long life your father had! I imagine he's left you with some memories that can help ease your loss. Take care, and know that you'll be in my and many other people's thoughts as you learn to move forward.
As I said about my parents, paraphrasing some words of Lois McMaster Bujold:
Attend. See these souls. I hope to make them real in your mind as they are in mine; for in the
realm of matter, they live now only in memory.
If you can or are inclined, tell us of yours.
Life has many chapters with ups &downs. This one is usually the most difficult when they r kin. But regroup the best u can and imagine him with ur mom. And both are watching o'er u...
I’m so sorry to hear this news. You are well-loved in the online community, and we all wish you well.
I lost my mother a couple of years ago and my father a year later, 91 and 92. We were never very close but they were always there. And then, with only a little warning ... gone. Replaced with a vague, but profoundly gripping, emptiness and sense of loss. Just knowing they were there was far more comforting than I knew.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Another word for infidel is heretic...and the derivation of word comes from choice....choosing something other than lockstep orthodoxy. It can be a lonely path.
I'm so sorry, my condolences, at any Age it's difficult to lose Loved Ones. I still miss my Parents.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You have my condolences.
I am sorry for your loss.
May his memory be a blessing.
I still have my mom and my granny and I can't imagine losing them.
For what it's worth, I'll also be thinking of you.
Liam.
My deepest condolences. Even if you weren't close.
Sorry to hear about your dad. Even if you weren't really close, there's going to be a deep sense of loss.
Sincere condolences on the loss of your father.
My condolences. (About all I can say, everything else seems hollow.)
Thank you, everyone, for the kind words and condolences. I have read them all, on this post and the previous one. It helps.
I'm sorry to learn of your loss. Every situation is unique to the individual, of course, but those of us who have gone through parallel mixed feelings can empathize.
In many ways, you are not alone.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
I am so sorry to hear this news, my friend. My sympathies are with you, Infidel. I know you don't put any stock whatsoever in prayers, but I will say one for you and your father anyway. I promise nothing but my best intentions are meant in doing so.
Thank you, I appreciate the thought.
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