25 May 2020

Improving words (16)

Some more revised word definitions, based on what the words visibly should mean.....

Adversity:  A college that teaches advertising

Assailing:  Suffering from a disease of the posterior

Candidate:  A tryst at the chocolate store

Catching:  A bell-like sound made by felines

Contest:  The opposite of protest

Descent:  To get rid of a smell

Determine:  To scare off excavation to extract minerals from the ground

Examination:  The land of your former friends from France

Fanfare:  Food for enthusiasts

Impeccable:  Immune to attack from woodpeckers

Incapacity:  I have a whole large town inside my hat

Industrial:  A legal proceeding against a large river in Pakistan

Lapsing:  To perform a song while resting on the thighs of a sitting person

Mentally:  A count of the number of adult males

Misspelt:  The winner of a beauty pageant featuring fur clothing

Program:  In favor of a tiny metric unit of weight

Reverse:  To put a text back into poetic form

Tenant:  Nearly a dozen small insects

Tuberculosis:  The act of shoving a potato up the ass of one's Spanish sister

Weevil:  Us be real bad people

[The previous "improving words" post is here.]

15 Comments:

Blogger Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Haha
Assailing and misspelt. Love!

XoXo

25 May, 2020 13:52  
Anonymous Ole Phat Stu said...

re Program.
The gram is a metric unit of mass, not of weight.

25 May, 2020 15:12  
Blogger Mildred Ratched said...

I loved your definitions. They made me chuckle and today I needed that since I wasn't feeling up to par. Thank you!

25 May, 2020 16:41  
Blogger Infidel753 said...

Sixpence: I try.....

Ole: Oh, fuck off. 99% of the time it's used to refer to weight. The dictionary defines it as "a metric unit of mass or weight".

Mildred: Always glad to help -- I think we can all use some occasional diversion these days.

25 May, 2020 16:48  
Blogger dellgirl said...

These grabbed me from the beginning with ... Adversity then Candidate being a tryst at the chocolate store. Got me to smiling right away. Thank you for the insights and the chuckles, just what I needed.

Wishing you well, my friend! Stay Safe!!

25 May, 2020 18:20  
Blogger Lady M said...

Assailing - very funny to my immature sense of humor.

25 May, 2020 19:42  
Blogger Mike said...

Contest could also be a requirement to get out of prison.

25 May, 2020 19:52  
Blogger RO said...

These are hilarious! Particularly "assailing"(lol) Air Hugs, RO

26 May, 2020 04:28  
Blogger JACKIESUE said...

I loved this so much..very very smart.

26 May, 2020 07:25  
Anonymous nonnie9999 said...

Now, now, don't fight over what gram means. While it can be a unit of weight or mass, program is actually an offshoot of AARP, and it promotes the interests of grandmothers. It promotes exercise for grandma (cardiogram), prepaid funeral expenses (cryptogram), Cardi B impersonator's rap music (cardiogram), streaming TV services (cablegram), streaming music (radiogram) and, of course, sweets for the sweet (candygram). They even have a daily program for abuelas (diagram).

Thank you for the mental distraction.

26 May, 2020 11:38  
Blogger Debra She Who Seeks said...

Took me a minute to get "misspelt" but then my one last remaining brain cell kicked in!

26 May, 2020 19:07  
Anonymous Loretta said...

That was hysterical - & I needed it!

26 May, 2020 21:37  
Blogger Infidel753 said...

Dellgirl: Glad to offer some entertainment.

Lady M: It reflects my own immature sense of humor.

Mike: Or a parole hearing.....

RO: :-)

JackieSue: I try.....

Nonnie: I'm stealing some of those, as soon as I figure out how.

Debra: I'm still waiting for someone unfamiliar with non-US spelling to tell me it's misspelt.

Loretta: Thanks! Plenty more where these came from -- this is the 16th set I've done.

27 May, 2020 00:16  
Blogger Eric said...

Catastrophe: The grand prize for la belle derierre at the cat show.

27 May, 2020 05:11  
Blogger Infidel753 said...

:-)

28 May, 2020 14:20  

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