Another observation on the MRA thing
I still look at these blogs occasionally; people's bizarre obsessions can exert a certain fascination, and in this case the obsessions seem so odd that I sometimes wonder if I was imagining things and they couldn't really be as bad as I remember (yes, they are). But I don't usually stay for long, because MRA blogs are very wearying to read.
When I realized why that's the case, I also realized what must be the reason why most of these guys have such a hard time forming relationships with women (as they apparently do, since female sexual disinterest and the sexual deprivation suffered by "beta males" is a recurring theme). It's not their anti-feminist or more broadly anti-female ideology; most people have enough brains not to harp on their political and social views on the first few dates, especially if they know those views would likely offend the person they're dating. They have a more fundamental problem: They're whiners.
Seriously, I've never seen such a relentless litany of complaining in my life. Complain, complain, complain. The fact that the MRAs so often accuse "modern women" of being whiny and complaining must be projection in the classic sense. I've never known a woman whose conversation was anything like so full of complaints as these guys' writing is.
When someone does that much complaining, apparently with so little awareness of the impression it's making, it's most likely a deep-rooted personality trait. My guess is, these guys complain like this all the time, even if whatever they're talking about has nothing to do with women or feminism.
And who on Earth would want to spend a lot of time with someone like that?
When I realized why that's the case, I also realized what must be the reason why most of these guys have such a hard time forming relationships with women (as they apparently do, since female sexual disinterest and the sexual deprivation suffered by "beta males" is a recurring theme). It's not their anti-feminist or more broadly anti-female ideology; most people have enough brains not to harp on their political and social views on the first few dates, especially if they know those views would likely offend the person they're dating. They have a more fundamental problem: They're whiners.
Seriously, I've never seen such a relentless litany of complaining in my life. Complain, complain, complain. The fact that the MRAs so often accuse "modern women" of being whiny and complaining must be projection in the classic sense. I've never known a woman whose conversation was anything like so full of complaints as these guys' writing is.
When someone does that much complaining, apparently with so little awareness of the impression it's making, it's most likely a deep-rooted personality trait. My guess is, these guys complain like this all the time, even if whatever they're talking about has nothing to do with women or feminism.
And who on Earth would want to spend a lot of time with someone like that?
posted by Infidel753 at 11:01 AM
12 Comments:
Malignant narcissism lacks facets. It's just monochromatically ugly, entitled, and griping. I do believe you've nailed it.
In place of the neutral-sounding term "beta males" let's substitute what they really mean -- they're losers. And not just your garden variety clueless loser, mind you, but losers who actually realize they're losers, and have embraced that fact as the answer to ... well, pretty much everything. Life hasn't quite worked out as they'd hoped, and it's gotta be somebody's fault. Somebody else, that is. They have the choice of putting some effort into changing things, or crawling into a corner and whining piteously about it. As losers, their choice is pretty clear.
I think you both nailed it. It's too bad we can't do some kind of reversed form of that fake "Exodus" therapy and turn them all gay. They'd be happy with each other, they wouldn't need to worry about women, and women wouldn't need to worry about them.
I've encountered a few of these individuals in the past and you are absolutely right, they are chronic whiners. No matter how you reason with them or try and aid them, all they want to do is complain and blame someone else. I tend to have a lot of patience with people but these are some that exasperate me to no end.
Sadly though, we're seeing an outgrowth of this in Congress and in statehouses all over the country as exemplified in all the anti-women legislation. I think it goes way beyond mere whining. There's something seriously psychologically wrong with these "men."
Wow. I just read the rape article and holy crap... I guess in the back of my mind, I knew those kinds of people existed, but perhaps have never really looked at them long enough to gain some sort of reality around the subject. Anyway I agree with the others here, and with what you stated. These are people who refuse to accept any personal responsibility for themselves what-so-ever. Regardless of how they were raised (whether good or bad), they made the wrong choice of how to handle their lives and are not only mad at themselves, but the whole rest of the world as well. And we all know how misery loves company...
Very interesting read
Cyc: Interesting that they do indeed come across similarly in person.
TNLib: Indeed, since the 2010 election it seems that alienating women is their highest priority except maybe for pushing creationism.
AR: Berge is some piece of work, especially with that coldly-detached philosophical attitude he exudes. He's advocated cop-killing, too. I have no idea whether he's actually dangerous or not, but I suspect the Norwegian cops are keeping an eye on him.
Hey, I just asked you question on comment you made on another site many many months ago. We shall see if you find it :).
JM: Unlikely, I think -- I comment in a lot of places.
Yesterday, I read one of those sites where they were all getting together trying to vote up the topic of "men's rights" on Scott Adams' blog (guy who does the Dilbert comics). Today, while randomly surfing around, I ran into this: http://tinysprout.tumblr.com/post/3713649989/scott-adams-dilbert-deleted-post
Apparently, Scott Adams was initially intrigued by the subject, saying it was "...a surprisingly good topic. It’s dangerous. It’s relevant. It isn’t overdone. And apparently you care."
And then he deleted the post, after what was no doubt a very unpleasant reaction from the public as a whole. I've lost a good deal of respect for Mr. Adams.
insecurity. these guys are losers, and they can't accept their own failure, so they blame women. same thing for those who bash moslems or jews or whatever group is handy.
GL: Man Boobz (anti-MRA mockery blog) posted on that incident here and here. Adams is an odd bird -- Dilbert cartoons have struck a nerve with millions trapped in surreal office life, but in one of his books he embraced a very weird sort of wishing-will-make-it-so superstition, in all apparent seriousness.
Nonnie, they are, all right but some groups need to be bashed -- I assume you wouldn't say "those who bash MRAs or radical-rightists."
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